One should enjoy the unchanging and incomparable beauty of the youth, Gopala with unblinking eyes. When we blink, we lose that moment of this delectable experience. He is wearing the peacock feathers (Peelis) in his dark tresses. The “eyes” at the top of each of the peelis decorating his hair seem to compete for attention with his youthful beauty. When we think of His many playful deeds/pranks as Balagopala in Gokulum and Brindhavanam and his blemish less beauty, our minds fall in intense love with Him. Our senses are overpowered. May the overflowing flood of that beauty and its luster remain steadily in adiyEn’s mind?
The direct vision that Swamy Desikan enjoyed disappears now. He gets agitated on experiencing this Viraha dasai. He becomes restless and begs the Lord to reappear before him so he can enjoy the Youthful moortham of the Lord as VeNugOpAlan. Swamy Desikan attains the state of a woman (Venkata Naayaki) now like ParakAla, ParAnkusa Naayakis and the Gopis before and suffers from the disappearance of the Lord from his vision. He had become intoxicated (unmatthan) from the anubhavam of the Lord’s beauty (nithya siddha Youvanam) and had been enjoying that soundharyam without winking his eyes (akshNO: animEsha nishEvaNeeyam). After the Lord’s disappearance, Swamy Desikan was experiencing one by one the pangs of vislEsham (separation): weeping, sleeplessness, losing weight, losing interest in appearance, losing shame (madal Urthal), agitation of mind, MATTHA NILAI and fainting. Swamy Desikan is at the stage of mattha nilai here. He remembers the beautiful face of the Lord, where the peacock feathers were competing with the curly tresses for being recognized as the more beautiful one among the items of soundaryam of the Lord. He feels like a cane sugar stalk, which has been pressed of all its juice. Swamy Desikan prays for the krupaa of the Lord to bless him with the reappearance of the Lord in his mind (mE chitthE aavirasthu).
Our Lord is Nithya yuvaa (eternally youthful); His kumara bhAvam never leaves Him (ajahath youvanam). He is iLam Kumaran. His beauty is intoxicating and His tEjas drives the one’s indhriyams to madness (karaNOnmAdhaka vibramam maha:).
Earlier, Swamy Desikan appealed for the Navaneetha Naatyam to appear before him (purasthAth Aavirbhavathu). Now, he prays for His roopa soundharyam to be captured in his mind (Aavirasthu chitthE). He wants to see the face in his mind’s eye, where his curly locks do battle with the peacock feathers. Each of them competes with the other to be recognized as the one with the greater beauty.
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